The more we practice, the more we are able to see our instinctive reactions to difficult moments, such as disappointments or inconsistency. These can provoke fear, annoyance or irritation in us. Because we practice, such emotions signal to us the places where we can grow.Painful emotions are like flags going up to say, "You're stuck!" We regard disappointment, inconsistency, irritation, and fear as moments that show us where we're holding back, how we're shutting down. Such uncomfortable feelings are messages that tell us to perk up and lean into a situation when we'd rather cave in and back away.
When the flag goes up, we have an opportunity: we can stay with our painful emotion instead of spinning out. Staying is how we get the hang of gently catching ourselves when we're about to let resentment harden into blame, righteousness, or alienation.
Ordinarily we are swept away by habitual momentum. We don't interrupt our patterns even slightly. With practice, however, we learn to stay with a broken heart, with a nameless fear, with the desire for revenge.... We can bring ourselves back to the spiritual path countless times every day simply by exercising our willingness to rest in the uncertainty of the present moment — over and over again.
Pema Chodron
