Today I rose early and was fortunate to be able to sit outside just after dawn. It was a lovely clear morning. I do not know if it is because the past winter was long and hard, but nature seems full of vitality these days. The birds sang in a loud chorus and there was a bright sense of joy. The rest of the day saw beautiful sunshine. In the afternoon I had an unexpected visit from some friends and we sat and enjoyed the unusually early warmth.The brightness of this weather makes it easy to feel clear and spacious within. And when we do, we find it not so difficult to be kind. It makes it possible to believe in the natural goodness deep inside us. However, even on bright days like this I notice that the mind can get confused and dark. When a combination of circumstances come together that frighten me, I become flustered and defensive. It is humbling to see the mind's capacity to struggle with the way things are and create suffering and narrowness on such a clear day.
In sitting practice we are reminded to practice "starting over" - to return again and again to the breath when the mind wanders, without being harsh with ourselves. It is a lesson for life also. We get lost. We wander away from the natural kindness that exists when we are calm. So we simply try to start over again. We do not need to add the extra judgment about how unworthy our behaviour makes us to the existing situation. We acknowledge honestly and simply that we have gotten lost, or are in the wrong, and then go back to start over again.
