The afternoon of life is just as full of meaning as the morning; only its meaning and purpose are different. C.G. JungNikos Kazanzakis recounted a talk he had with an old monk about the development of the inner life. He asked him "Do you still struggle with the devil?" "Oh, no," the old man replied, "I used to struggle with him, when I was young, but now I've grown old and tired and the devil has grown old and tired with me. We leave each other alone!" "So it's easy for you now?" asked the young Kazantzakis. "Oh no," replied the old man, "it's worse, far worse! Now I wrestle with God!"
The monk is referring to one of the great images of the Old Testament when Jacob wrestled with God all night long. No easy, soft, spirituality there. No. Sometimes to grow we have to fight. What the monk seems to suggest is that there are different challenges at different times in our lives. In the early part of our life our main task is to develop our ego sufficiently to leave ones parents and establish oneself in the world. There is a certain, necessary, focus on establishing a career, independence and relationship, with a paradigm of succeeding. So one struggles with the strong forces of greed and ambition, of sexuality and of the search for intimacy, the need for achievement, position and a recognized role. However, although powered by an inner force, this drive is often unconsciously influenced by the models of parents and society. It's not easy to make peace with this drive inside us and satisfy all the voices that challenge us.
The task in the second part of life is quite different. The struggles can be can be other than what we had to face earlier on. The drive for successs which marked the first years has acheived all it can or has not delivered the fulfillment it promises. The underlying needs of the greater Self begin to assert themselves. A new paradigm is needed. A deeper struggle, this time largely inside the person, takes place, to fill in the missing pieces of the personality, neglected up to now. The challenge is to become more aware and more whole, to free what was blocked and live life most fully. We have to wrestle with our deepest Self, often through a crisis, defeat or loss, in order to leave behind patterns or strategies that are no longer effective and will no longer bring us growth.
What we choose to fight is so tiny!
What fights with us is so great!
What is extraordinary and eternal
does not want to be bent by us.
I mean the Angel who appeared
to the wrestlers of the Old Testament ...
Whoever was beaten by this angel
(who often simply declined the fight)
went away proud and strengthened
and great from that harsh hand
that kneaded him as if to change his shape.
Winning does not tempt that man.
This is how he grows: by being defeated, decisively,
by constantly greater things.
Rilke, The Man Watching
