At every moment we are all in mid-process. We are between what has happened (and which is now just a memory, but may be quite active in our emotions and fears) and what might happen (which is at this moment just a thought). We are in the present, which is really the only time anything is. This may lead us to feel divided. However, it is actually a richness which can help us respond to life in creative and new ways. For example we can break down the future, which can sometimes overwhelm and frighten. We do not have to live the whole of the future. Just this step. Then the next step.
It changes our attitude towards ourself also. If we can be mindful in this moment, we bring a gentle non-judgment to ourselves and to our life. This helps us soften in the moment, and resist the natural tendency to become rigid, especially if we are going through a difficult period. It goes against a primitive defense mechanism, which Melanie Klein referred to when she said that one problematic way of dealing with anxious thoughts is simply to avoid them and remove them from awareness. Unfortunately this only prolongs the problem. Awareness can help us break repeating unhelpful or frightening patterns of thinking, or slow down intrusive and unpredictable feelings. It allows us move beyond the categories of whether someone is right or wrong, by focusing on just being with what is going on inside ourselves at this moment. Gently. Without adding the extra burden of bad self or bad other.
This is not so easy, because if we notice stong emotion in the moment it normally means that we are already caught or hooked by a reaction. However, contrary to our normal instinct, it is by learning to become more open to others and to what is happening that we grow stronger. It has been said that the whole of the inner life begins with generosity in the heart, because that is about creating space. Space for this actual moment. It softens us rather than freezing us into what Srikumar Rao calls the "if - then" model. "If only this moment was different then I would be happy"....If only such or such happens then I will be happy"
Being present in the present moment is a skill, that we try to cultivate in our practice. I find that life continually gives me occasions for practicing this skill and a lot of time I fail. However, when I do, I find I do not add to life's difficulty by struggling with it, or by resenting it, or by resisting it. I find my mind relaxes when I remember to be generous and non-judgmental, firstly towards myself and then towards others and the world.
In-between is where humans always are,
thats what we have to welcome,
a story with an uncertain ending.
And this condition is interesting if you inhabit it;
it's alive.
If I'm facing something that I don't know what to do,
the "not knowing" is what is true,
and the resources that I have,
deeply ignorant that I am,
will have to be enough.
John Tarrant
