The world we are born into is imperfect and unpredictable. Things change suddenly. We can have a clear direction for some days and then suddenly something surprises us, moving in an opposite direction to what was communicated. We live with finite human beings who send mixed messages, make mistakes, are confused, and act in ways that can hurt you. There is much to take in, and our abilty to predict what can happen is quite limited. We like to think so, but we are not omnipotent beings, and while we try to protect ourselves and maintain some order in our lives, we simply don’t have the ability to safeguard ourselves from all the hurts that can assail us. We can learn from nature all around us these days. It does not behave in a predictable way or follow our wishes. Snow falls all around making travel difficult. Temperatures will fall to minus ten this evening which will make the journey to work tomorrow treacherous. The television news presents this as sudden unexpected upheavals. However we should not really be surprised that calamities and turmoil happen in nature and in our inner life, since this is the nature of the world we are born into.
Growth comes if we can understand that difficulties are inevitable in this life and when we try to work with them rather than run away from them. What are we afraid of a lot of the time? Often, it is the unknown. Meditation invites us to work with the unknown future in whatever form it comes up, no matter how unexpected. We know that we have a choice to be mindful. Whether it is the an economic crisis, or extreme weather conditions, or the death of a loved one, or changes in a relationship, all can be an opportunity for us to work with reality.
Mindfulness tells us that can train our minds to turn these unfavorable circumstances around to make them work to our advantage. It helps us to work with difficulties rather than allowing them to force us into a corner with no answers. It is part of our nature to resist change. Mindfulness helps to see that change is inevitable and that suffering comes from resiting it. Thus we try to treat difficulties as just part of nature rather than signs that things have gone wrong. Mindfulness helps us avoid the trap of thinking that the meaning of life is just to get everything working the way we want it. It shows us how to work with the fear of uncertainty.
I can’t offer you a finite list of things for you to do, nor can I tell you exactly how you can smile at fear. I’m working with turning up the edges of my mouth when I feel anxious. The advice I give myself is: Don’t avoid the opportunity to grin back at fear. And if you can dive into that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach, well, that would be excellent! We each have to find our own inner grin.
Pema Chodron
