Since Erik Erikson's work on the eight stages in life development, the notion of a progression through a series of different periods in one's life has become widely known. Erikson felt that each stage presented its own particular task and that, by adjusting to the challenges of each age, we developed psychological maturity. His insights are rich and have helped us recognize that life is not fully finished by the time we reach young adulthood. Erikson reminds us that we are contunally a "work in progress" and that life presents itself to us as an unfolding mystery to which we can respond or, in the face of which, we can shut down. The last stage of our journey, which we are in at the end of life, reflects this choice. We can arrive at either integrity or despair. One reason for despair is the fact that we can look back on our life and realize that we did not take all the opportunities presented to us. He also believed that failure to live fully at one stage led to accumulating difficulties in later stages.
One thing that this stage theory of life can help us see is that we are somewhat always in transition. As well as the developmental stages which present their challenges and tasks, we all have unique situations which present us with choices. We are called to respond to a challenging work situation, a medical report, a new addition to the family, a challenging travel schedule, or moving apart from a best friend. We are always between the situation which was yesterday and today's new situation. Thus we have to develop a spirit that is open, that is at ease with always adjusting. Adjusting means that we are not always 100% sure of who we are, and that we have to make choices based on where we find ourselves. And sometimes the choice is whether we dare to take a risk based on a deep awareness in our heart or whether we play it safe.
What is needed then is an openness to what life - as a journey - presents in each stage, and in each moment. In some ways this is our only moment of being alive. As Erikson reminds us, living this moment and this opportunity to the full will lay the basis for a full life and develop a philosophy of celebration, removed from worry and too much concern about a fixed destination. It is better to live these instants fully than lose them in an attempt to manage life in its entirety. We need to dream, and live in a way that produces astonishment rather than predictability.
Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness.
May Sarton
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Annie Dillard
